After seven minutes, the title screen started moving again. I decided to leave it alone and answered emails on my phone. I had a lot of time to think about this after I tried clicking on any of the buttons and found that the menu had frozen. What this actually means is that the game isn't anywhere near finished, and one day they hope to actually make it playable. There are a few options for various game modes, but the largest section by far is the huge one declaring "Free Content Coming Soon!". When you start the game, you're greeted with a Windows 8 style menu screen. On top of that, your phone is broken, so you're only able to listen to every exercise session of Richard Simmons on repeat. Playing this atrocity was like going back in time, but instead of seeing Aristotle or hanging out with Alexander the Great, you take a tour of Europe's most interesting outhouses during the Black Death. Roller Coaster Tycoon World has made me use a lot of words in the past two weeks I don't usually like to use, and almost none of them can be repeated in good company. Show them who's boss by clanking your way out of the development studio in nothing but a barrel held up by suspenders, but make sure you do it first. Finally, scout out your largest competitors, and no matter how badly your game is progressing release your game the day before theirs. Next, ignore the horrible textures and clipping issues, the players will consider this a feature, not a bug. The first step, of course, is to utterly ignore the progress of the last ten years of simulation games and just reuse the same technology level from the last installment of the franchise. Welcome! In today's article, we'll learn how to put the nail in the coffins for longstanding franchises of enormous cultural importance for gaming culture.
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